. 16.02.11 the wrong gender .

There were bits of pieces to this Dream but when it finally came together, it was a great idea for a story! Here's how it goes. It's set in the late 1800's and the main character is a young woman. She looks for a partner in the most unconventional way; by dressing up as a man herself. Her idea was to see if men would fall for her smarts and personality instead of her womanly figure and wealth. Because though she acted like a lower-class ruffian, she actually came from a respectable family with loads of money. But this was a different town and no one knew her and her disguise was perfect. Well, almost.

She is at a local pub and something happens, I'm unsure what exactly. Maybe she got into a fight or some older men were picking on her, actually thinking that she was really a scrawny, young boy. Being the fiesty spirit that she was, perhaps she fought back but before real chaos could ensue, she was rescued by a tall, large and rather dashing-looking man. The other men then kept away. The gentleman offered her to drink with him at the bar. He was tall, compared to her, polite and laid-back with a sense of humor. He wore a suit of pure white. He had black hair tied into a short pony tail. His skin was not too dark and not too fair either. He had an eye-patch over his right eye, and beneath it were small, partly visible burn-scars in the shape of little roses.

She was unsure why he had saved her from a possible brawl or whether he saw through her disguise but she took the offer to sit with him as he was kind enough. He said he was waiting for a friend and sure enough his friend appears from behind them. He was a burly, masculine man, slightly taller than even his friend. He was bald but he had thick black eyebrows, mustache and beard. His muscles were enormous, and they showed from his baggy, sleeveless sailor-shirt. His voice was loud and boisterous, and bellowed throughout the whole bar. It turns out he was famous in wrestling tournaments, but regardless of his intimidating size and weight, he was kind and gracious.

He put out his hand for a shake to the lady (still dressed as a boy) and when she put her hand in his, he shook it hard exclaiming something like, “This boy's as thin as a twig! I could snap you in half!” he laughed aloud. Unfortunately anything after that is very hazy to me so the Dream stops there.

If it were up to me to finish the story, here is how it would go: The gentleman (whom I've named Garrett) is looking for an assistant to help him in his workshop. He offers it to the lady (whom I'm naming Almond) and she takes it, seeing as she had a problem with unemployment. So she lives with him and spends time with him, which was troublesome seeing she still had to keep her gender a secret from him and she later realizes that she has feelings for him. This would turn out awkward since she's supposed to be playing a man. Garrett however seems to be displaying some sort of affection towards Almond, in a sense which confuses her – had Garrett discovered her secret OR was he actually interested in effeminate men?? Sergei (Garrett's wrestling friend) still doesn't know Almond's secret and thinks that Garrett's sudden attraction is disturbing. This could become a series!!!

. 15.02.11 the girl .

The surroundings remind me of my university campus – its unique, strange but beautiful architectural design and the river that stretches throughout the area – there were people there but faceless (as usual). The only people I could distinguish was a guy named Nabil, whom I work with in the university's newsletter, and a little girl, whom I've never seen before in my life. She looked caucasian, about 7-10 years old, with fair skin and light-colored eyes (though I don't remember if they were blue or brown). She was bald and was wearing a hospital gown and I remember she was quite thin. She had rosy, thin lips and a bright, innocent smile on her face.

What was so strange about this girl was that I recognized her as a really close friend of mine. I took to her like someone I was really fond of. Like a sister, but she was nowhere related to me in any way. I see her coming my way and I welcome her with open arms, hugging her tightly.

The Dream shifts and it is evening. I've been walking around the area and I realize that my two friends aren't with me. I start getting worried, especially for the little girl. I find Nabil's handphone all of a sudden and a text message from him saying that they were both locked in the freezer room. I find the room (somewhere in the campus) and unlock it. Its steel blue and frozen with ice and snow on the inside. It's a little dark but I can make out a circling staircase, that stops at the ceiling, and two figures sitting atop of it. I call out to Nabil and he stirs, his clothes covered by a thin layer of ice. The girl was climbing down the staircase and her skin was so pale, almost turning blue. I grab her first and take her out, worried that her sickness could have gotten worse. She was fine though. Just happy to see me.

Time passes and her skin starts to change. Dry sores appear on her head and face, which looked almost like bad, burnt marks but she keeps smiling as if nothing's wrong. I had a gut feeling that I wouldn't be seeing her after this so I took the moment as a farewell. I bent down and asked her to forgive me if I hadn't been able to take care of her that well. She giggles and I'm not sure if she said anything to me but it looked as if she said 'there was nothing to forgive', even as her sores were looking worse. Her smiling face made me feel better but I end up crying my eyes out.

I hug her bald head and say to her, “You're the most kind-hearted person I've ever met,” with tears in my eyes. I kiss her on her forehead and soon after that she is gone, shifting with the rest of my Dreams. I wake up with tears soaking my pillow.

I have never felt a love for a child as strongly as I had for this girl, whom I don't even know in real life. In the Dream, I felt as if I loved her with all my heart. Like a sister; like a friend; almost like a daughter even. And, unless God wills differently, I don't think I will see her again. But every time I picture her smiling face, with her bald head and little pearly whites, I will smile too.

.: day fourteen :.

picture perfect

hold me close; hold me tight

don't fidget too much darling

just a little to the right

you're beautiful baby

but why are you so shy?

you're picture perfect in my eyes

frames can't hold you

you're bigger than you know

you're a whole world to me and more

hold me close; hold me tight

cuddle close to me darling

and let me kiss you goodnight

. 29.01.11 zombie cure .

Ok, not your typical kick-ass zombie dream anymore OOOOOH NO. My Dreams HAD to get a little bit realistic. And by realistic I mean turn out in ways I didn't want them to but still expected it to otherwise. Anyhoddlyhoo, here's what happened. I'm at my old elementary school, only it still is a school and not the insurance office it was after the school shut down. There were still school kids and teachers I saw walking round and I was in the middle of the grounds minding my own business when all of a sudden the zombie apocalypse decided to happen then and there.

I didn't remember a lot of ppl being chased, cus it was weird how there were some ppl walking round casually, not fazed by the mauling or the massacre. I on the other hand was the first one to be jumped and got bitten too. On my right arm, between my wrist and elbow. I kicked the bugger away, which wasn't too hard, but now I was infected. The first thing that came to my mind was 'how am I going to draw NOW???'

Like instinct, I rushed to a place which looked like they could provide some cure for me. It wasn't some top-secret government lab or anything – just the school's main hall where these two women were hanging about. Don't remember what they look like distinctly now but I think one looked my old psychology lecturer from Foundation Studies (aaaaawkwaaaard..) but she was the one who suggested the cure. I was surprised they even HAD one. I had about 2 to 4 hours before I fully transformed so I wanted to try whatever they got.

The other woman got ready a mixture of fluids and poured a dark, aromatic liquid into a mug. She placed it in front of me. I look at it blankly and said, “This is just coffee.” The woman (who looks like my lecturer) perked up saying, “Oh just wait one second!” She reached for a shelf nearby and grabbed a hamster from a shoebox that was up there. She held the hamster like a doll, its tummy exposed and four limbs squirming. She squeezed the hamster slightly over my cup-o-Joe till. It. Pooped. They were putting frigging hamster poo in my coffee. That was the cure.

In my mind I said, 'weighing my choices I'd rather be a zombie and not be aware of eating disgusting gourmet than eating it in my right mind now...'

.: day thirteen :.

screaming

like blasts of thunder, booming in your chest.

like streaks of lightning, sharp and piercing;

yet silent.

it claws through your lungs,

scrapes at your throat;

it tries to burst past your cage of ribs,

but you won't let it escape.

you won't let it get the best of you.

you will not let them hear you.

you will not let them win,

nor smell your fear.

they will not see your blood,

nor taste your tears.

like blasts of thunder, booming yonder horizon.

like streaks of lightning, shattering the skies.

they are silent.

just

like

your

screams.

. 21.12.10 cardboard maze .

This Dream started out very eerie, dark and creepy but in the end it turned out alright. It was more of a thriller than a horror, in movie genre terms. This time, we have both my parents. I don't usually Dream with BOTH my parents at the same time so I was kind of happy to.

We start out in what looks like an office building. Imagine the offices where there's nothing in the horizon but endless cubicles. And those cubicles are made of those hard, artificial wall materials that I call white cardboard. You can basically picture the environment. The three of us were walking through the maze of cardboard and there didn't seem to be an exit. The walls were taller than my dad, just a few feet away from the ceiling, so we couldn't see what went on the other side. It was getting darker the more we tread into the maze.

When it got darker, the walls changed from clean, pure white to a muddy, sepia sort of brown. Graffitti of unreadable words and symbols started appearing on the walls. My mom huddled closer to my dad while I watched their back from behind. My danger senses were tingling...

The further we went into the maze, the hair on my arms and legs began to prickle and stand on edge. I was sensing danger in the most peculiar way. I started to growl and meow aggressively. I felt my muscles stretch and accumulate. Before I knew it, I had become Were-Cat once more. When I felt big and strong, I went ahead of my parents to sniff the way. I jumped and perched myself ontop of a cardboard wall with ease to find out exactly how far we were from the main walls of the office, which I assumed we were still trapped inside. My parents were not afraid of my Were-Cat form, as if it was something normal in our family.

In the maze, I remember fighting animals like mutant rats and bats that came out from the shadows to attack us. I remember chasing after the rats on all four of my limbs. I was like a guard dog, staying close to my dad's legs, heeling my parents all the way to the exit. When we got out of there, I must've collapsed. The next thing I remembered was being in a hospital bed recuperating from the fights I had. My mom was sitting next to me when I woke up and she spoke like she blamed herself for getting me in such an awful situation. I felt around my neck the necklace she gave me (in real life) and I smiled at her. I said, “It's because of you, that I am happy to be this way. It's because you are my mother, I would do anything to protect you.”

This is not the first time I went Were-Cat and in front of my parents either. I wonder if my Were-Cat is my self-defense mechanism as well as my defensive self when it comes to matters of family. I quite like this Dream because of how I put my feelings for my mother so poetically. Anyway, I like being Were-Cat because its almost as awesome as being a Werewolf. You get more strength, speed, agility, heightened senses of the animal counterpart and so on. I think I'd rather be a Were-Cat than a Vampire, cus I won't have to worry about sunlight. Which would you rather be?

.: day twelve :.

unintended

I did not mean to fall in love, or find you in the snow; But circumstance, like northern stars, pointed me where to go; With each winding road, through thick & thin, I find when I come through; Each fated route I ever made kept leading me to you.