. 05.11.10 the dreamer and the muse .

I was a damsel in distress, captured by an evil wizard to be his bride. The wizard had long, straight white hair that only reached his chin and though he was young and pretty good-looking, he was still evil. I especially didn't like the way he treated me. I was in a puffy, cream colored gown with layers and laces. It looked like a wedding dress but I was already wearing it when he captured me. The truth of it all was I was betrothed to someone I didn't love and the wizard took me on my wedding day. I was a little happy for that. But when he himself forced me to marry him, I said I'd rather rot in his prison. And so he left me there.

My cell was a long, dark pit but square in shape. I tried climbing out of it but in the end I was so tired I fell asleep. In the Dream, I dreamt again. I opened my eyes and I found myself in the castle. I walked through the rooms and found gowns of different colors still on mannequins. They looked very pretty but I had no time to try them or anything. Quickly I went outside to the grounds and found my family and friends. I had an older sister named Lorina and she was panicking wondering where I was. I remember she had brown hair and was wearing a great orange dress. I ran up to her crying that I was here safe and sound, but alas I passed through her like some kind of ghost!

I was frightened. No one could see me or hear me. Thinking that I had died and become a phantom, I began to cry, when suddenly I heard a voice behind me, “You're not dead. You're a Dream that's all.” I turned around and saw a boy my age standing idly about like nothing's wrong. I asked how that was possible. “When you sleep, your spirit floats you see. It comes out of your body and becomes a Dream itself to the real world.” As he spoke to me, he didn't seem to smile. He had a rather soft but cheerless expression on his face. I didn't ask why nor who he was but he brought a lot of comfort to me.

He showed me around and comforted me when I felt sad and lost. In my head I thought he was like the Cheshire cat; a mysterious being that crossed between these two worlds. He was very attractive. He had grey eyes and short, wavy, black hair. As we walked side-by-side through the crossroads of Dreams, I found myself falling for him. My heart beat faster when I got so close to him. I saw his open hand at the corner of my eye and reached out for it gently. I held him. To my surprise he held me back. On his still stoic face, he was blushing; very hard. I felt so happy... but our happiness could not last. He was but a Dream muse and I was plainly a visitor.

I think the reason he was sad was because he knew my stay with him would be temporary. As I realized that I gripped his hand tighter. I didn't want to leave him. If I returned to the real world, I'd find myself in the cold, dark prison of an evil wizard. Even if I was rescued, I'd have to go back and marry someone I did not love. I didn't realize it at first but the Dream world we were walking through was shattering like glass, slowly and steadily. I suddenly had a pain in my head. We were on the ground and he held me, telling me to calm down... His voice, it almost made me cry... I was going to go now... I was going to leave him...

I woke up.

I was really sad my persona couldn't find her fairy tale with the muse but I think this is going to be a base of an incredible story later on! Also, the boy shockingly looked a lot like Fou, if he were much much older from the first time I dreamt him. Throughout the Dream, the muse and my persona really had a deep connection; but the weirdest part after recognizing him as Fou, he seemed to recognize me too as if he was meeting me again. Weird eh? Fou is from an old dream I had a long time ago which you can read here.

. 26.10.10 shotgun .

It's all a bit fuzzy but I remember the action stuff pretty well. There's me and Sano and we were pacing to find a getaway on wheels and fast. Sano found a white car and I wanted to drive, “I call shotgun!!” but he got to the driver's seat first. “Oh come ooon!” I sat in the passenger's seat and we drove off into the highway. Did I forget to mention that we both had guns? Though with both hands on the wheel, Sano couldn't use his. I literally did have a shotgun in my hands but it looked smaller. We drove off like runaways with cops in their metal vans chasing us. I stuck my head and gun out the window and shot the van at the wheels making the cops skid and collide with another car. The explosions just made me cackle maniacally.

This is all I can remember but it was exciting! It was like we were fugitives running away from the law but getting a kick out of it.

. mirror mirror .

For this Dream, I've extracted some subconscious philosophy and I shall explain to you how. I see someone who looks like my friend, Sya, and I follow her into a room. She seems like she wants to keep her distance, like she's mad at me for some reason. I follow her into a bedroom and she's still pushing me away. I wanted to talk to her, ask her what's wrong but she was acting irrational. I sort of try and forcibly calm her down by hugging her as gently as I could. Finally I got her to stop struggling, with my arms still round her, cus she was tiny. We were next to a wall with a large mirror. We both looked at ourselves and she asked, “Tell me – what do you see? What do you see??!” she was screaming at me. Like she was expecting the answer. Instead, I replied, “Are you asking what I see or what you want me to see?”

I guessed this was a case of self-reflection with the mirror and all, and my friend being upset. Sya is an example of a person who may recluse herself in denial of her true character, or perhaps a person who is afraid to stand up to the truth about themselves. Me as the ambiguous one may symbolize the surrounding ppl of the one in denial. How others can bring about one's true colors or bring one to realize them. However this Dream does not mean that the ppl involved are actually like that in reality.... or ARE they...?

. 06.10.10 moving toys .

Ok so a friend of mine is having a sleepover at my house this week and wouldn't you know it; that's what I dreamt about last night. But it was more creepy than sleepover fun. Plus, we didn't sleep in the same room. For some reason I was sleeping on a mattress in my parents' when all of a sudden we hear some bumps in the night. The lights wouldn't come on cus of a blackout so it was pitch dark. I needed to find my friend Ash and find her quick! She was sleeping all alone in my room with the toys!

It was like we were done playing with the toys and just left them sprawled on the bedroom floor before going to sleep. I found the bedroom and brought her to my parents' room where we huddled together. She was sobbing, “It w-was just... s-so.. scary..!!” and I cuddled her, telling her its alright now. My parents, like rational adults, kept asking what the matter was and I explained that the toys had come alive somehow and were trying to take my Ash away. Of course they didn't believe us.

I remember one of our cats, Zhao Tcai, the kitten of the family was with us too and he was also trying to convince my parents that I was telling the truth. Of course, being the kitten of the family (what more a cat that couldn't talk) they didn't listen to him. But then somewhere in the dark we heard something scuffling in the room with us. Frightened, everyone got on the bed, afraid of stepping on the bedroom floor, except Zhao Tcai. Being a cat has its advantages. With his keen eyesight, he was able to hunt whatever it was in the bedroom. At first the chase was on the floor, but they hopped onto the bed and the cat chased it all around us. The moment the lights came back on, Zhao Tcai had caught it. It was a plastic rat, with a dead expression on its face.

My parents then believed me and we began to investigate. It wasn't just Ash and my parents; all of a sudden there were other ppl I've never seen before hunting for those live toys, like they were a mob looking for a real threat or something. We searched throughout the house, which didn't look like my house anymore, and opened a door. To our surprise we saw the toys building a city of their own out of the other toy pieces. Legos, building blocks, my old house and castle sets and toys I've never seen in my life. They all stopped building the moment we opened the door but the ppl began grabbing toys they could reach and shouted, “Come on! Lets chop these buggers to bits!” and when he said chop, he meant cut them with big scissors. We all grabbed a pair of scissors and cut whatever toy we could find. For some unknown reason, I was cutting a plastic... plate..?

Not the Toy Story which I had in mind...

. bloodchild .

I actually forgot about writing this Dream down even though it was one of the unforgettable ones I've had. I call this Dream BloodChild and I actually wanted to draw it into a comic to illustrate what happened but I got sidetracked and thought of just writing it down.

Its nighttime in the middle of a forest. There's a soft, warm glow ahead behind a curtain of trees. If you approach closer, you'll see a giant camp full of people in bright colors and patterns of all kinds. Showgirls with large feathers in their costumes. Harlequins with paint on their faces juggling bowling pins and balls together. Acrobats practicing their new routines by themselves and caretakers leading their animals back into their cages. A traveling circus have stopped for the night and were settling down after a long day's work. But all is not merry. Somewhere in a lonely corner of the camp is a cage nestled with a shallow floor of hay, barely enough to fight the night's cold. Within the dark cage is a ragged girl. Her hands covered in metal cases and chained to the floor.

She is cold and hungry and is terrorized by nightmares. In her blackest memories are the ringmaster and his mistresses caging and humiliating her like she was part of the freakshow. Her only friend comes to visit her whenever he can. He cuddles up in her neck and they sleep throughout the cold. He brings scraps of food; its not much but his effort was enough to make her smile. Her only friend was a mouse. He was her secret friend. He was small, but his presence gave her more hope than she could contain.

But one evening, as she awaited her friend's visit once more, she saw in the distance the circus children trying to catch something in a paper box. It was her friend, running away for his life. The circus children were ruthless, bratty spawns just like the ringmaster. Having no voice, she could not call out to her friend and holler the kids away, but what good would it do anyway. All she could do was watch in despair as her friend was captured and tossed about in the box. The children then put the box on the ground, and just when she thought they were leaving him alone, one of the children brought his club. As the wood brought its weight onto the box, they could hear a fragile smash of bone and flesh. The box was slowly becoming soggy with the mouse's blood and how they laughed at the sight. How they laughed... and laughed... And how she cried... and cried...

No... Her crying must stop. She will stand no more...

Her eyes are pale and blind with rage. She tears off her chains and breaks free from her cage. While the children are standing there, hopelessly bewildered and petrified with fear, with a swift movement of her hand she slices the air in front of them. For the first moment, it looked as if nothing happened. But in seconds the children's bodies fall, sliced in halves. Soon the whole camp in in chaos and screams of terror fill the once-empty forest in the dead of night. She kills every last single one of them with utmost pleasure as tears stream from her eyes.

When it is done, she is left alone by a little creek with her friend in her arms. His box already his coffin, she sends him off on his voyage and watches him go with the stream. She says her silent farewell, waving him away. Her ash-grey eyes have grown blood-shot red. She has no more tears left to cry. She sits by the creek for a long while till some hours before dawn, she sees a boat rowing gently before her. There is an elderly couple in peasant clothes and with kind faces. They ask her questions, but she was unable to speak. They took her in, having pity. The farmer's wife wraps her up in sheets and cuddle her. She falls asleep as the couple whisk her away from the forest, not knowing whose blood were on her clothes and face.

When I first had this Dream, I actually wanted to make this into a comic or a graphic novel :D That would've been awesome. But since my schedule's tighter than Russel Brand's pants, I gotta save this for a sweeter time when I'm free.

.: month of february :.

Hullo Hullo there maties :)

Yeah, sorry there hasn't been updates as frequently as I'd liked. Been too busy with university and all. Assignments, mid terms.. not to mention the finals coming up at the end of March. Goodness so many things, so little time. Haven't even been able to draw! Can you imagine that?? Well not to worry, though I haven't drawn anything NEW, I'll just post up an ol' lil' something Valentines-like for the month of February, just to make up xppp


If you don't recognize these two, it's Leo Lionheart and Cathy Kattz from an old online comic of mine, CFA Crew. Haven't continued their comic in ages since the progress of recent projects (and university boohoo) but I still draw them now and then. This picture is old cus it was during the time I made my music video :)))

So overall, hope yall had a good month! Good Valentines! Good whatever!

And even if they weren't as good as you'd hoped, chin up! Stay positive - and maybe then will positivity arrive at your door~

God bless!

. i killed Chucky .

It was in the evening. Outside, near the sewers where the only thing in between me and the other side is a trench with shallow drain water, swamp yellow in color. I recall a very urban setting around us, though I remember some trees too. I don't know why I was running alongside the trench. Forgotten it now. But I was enjoying myself at the time. I think there was someone there with me too. Or he was on the opposite side and we were racing each other, who would get to the bridge first. Something like that. We reached the bridge, that was over the deep, deep trench. I can't picture my friend's face, or whether it was a boy or girl, but I can remember the face that appeared later as clear as day.

It was Chucky, that God-forsaken homicidal doll I recognize from when I was four-years-old. And he was holding a knife and coming towards me slow. His words are creepy but indistinct now but he was still coming at me, grinning that God-awful satanic grin. His little plastic teeth stained yellow, his dolly overalls painted with blood splatters. It was all in slow motion. Not me, though, but Chucky. Which was good. But instead of running away, I faced him (half-heartedly). A newspaper flew in between us and Chucky's knife went through at that moment. Taking the chance, I grabbed the knife from him as he couldn't see, and pulled it through the newspaper. I then struck it straight into body, a little below the stomach. He yelled, and his yell was just as monstrous as I remembered it in the movies. Struck down, and immobile, I don't know how – but I managed to push his body over the bridge and into the trench. Either his head hit the concrete below or he drowned in the murky sewers. Either way, I killed him. I could feel it in my gut. This was the first time I killed someone in my Dreams.

The area where I struck the knife was a bit below the stomach, because it was the place that could bleed the most. A little trick I learned from Hannibal Lecter.