. 26.07.10 dead babies .

This Dream is as scary as the title sounds.

It started with a normal looking day in the Dreamworld, where my dad and I were browsing a bookshop in the modern present day shopping complex. I then grab a large book which looked like Neil Gaiman's collection of Death; a character from his comic Sandman (Death being the older sister to Dream). I grab it and flip it open and was excited to have found it when I couldn't in the real world. I don't remember the contents or how the pages looked but I called my dad over to show it to him, as he was a fan of Sandman too.

Flipping through the pages, I noticed the whole comic book changed into an entirely different book. At first it looked like watercolored sceneries of green and amber forests, then it changed to a black and white collection of sketches. The page I stopped at had two cartoon dogs. They looked very posh and were wearing clothes. The fancy looking poodle, I recalled, was wearing a shirt and her collar was laced. I remembered asking my dad what they called that fashion at the time. All of a sudden the bookshop setting disappeared and I found myself in the black and white world of the two dogs. They began to talk but I didn't understand what they were saying, or maybe their words were too slurry to remember. Anyway, even the black and white world faded away into a black and grey cemetery of a setting. Later I found myself in a very grey town in the middle of the night, but it wasn't scary just yet.

My persona changed as soon as I stepped into the town. From the looks of it, everything was painted grey. Everyone's clothes, tablecloths, buildings (though I only remembered one there). It looked like the Victorian times in London, where it was always grey, misty and depressing. But the ppl were not miserable at first. Actually, we were all having a bit of fun. We were surrounded by houses in a way that they constructed four walls around us with a sky light. I recalled it was around evening, almost night. We were having a dinner party under the night sky and all was merry. My persona was a young woman (the hostess maybe?) in a plain dress and I had a shawl over my shoulders. I was making sure everyone was happy and doing well...

And then I hear someone calling “Mama, mama,” in a small, squeaky voice. We all didn't know where it was coming from and looked around. The calling didn't stop till I looked up. Above me, in one of the windows of the house was a baby at the window. The windows were wide open and the infant, barely a few years old, was on all fours precariously on the edge. I was petrified. I didn't even know if that was MY child but I ran up the stairs of the house as fast as I could. There was a butler in the way to the room when I burst in. The baby looked at me for the last time and it just toppled over the edge and fell to its death with a large thud. The butler was with me as I screamed and looked away. I could hear gasps and screams of shock from below, I didn't have to look out the window.

The butler ran with me downstairs to the dinner party and many of the women were in tears after witnessing the horrible sight. The infant was naked (which I didn't notice earlier) and its body was red in a pool of blood, as if it had been born just yesterday. The horror didn't stop there. All around us, more cries just like the previous one joined in. One by one, the babies fell from different windows all over and the adults just ran around in panic, not knowing how to stop this phenomenon. I even tried to catch one of the babies which fell, but for some reason my arms retreated at the last minute and I couldn't save him. I couldn't save any of these babies.

I hope I never have this Dream ever ever again. Its already traumatizing the first time... I read somewhere that a dead baby symbolizes something innocent or connected to my childhood has emotionally died within me but I can't think of anything in particular... Maybe its me realizing i'm growing up?

. 01.07.10 nonsensic & sweet .

There was a fish/frog mutant thing that looked like it came out of that horror movie, the Swamp Thing, and it was living in the bathroom. This wasn't even my bathroom. Every now and then he would come out of the toilet bowl and stick its mucky, dark green arm out to reach for my arm. I was disgusted and didn't like it. When it came out to do it again, I finally scolded him not to do that, and like a docile animal, it obeyed and stayed half submerged from the toilet.

Then I'm back at the campus. I go to the convenient store and surprisingly I buy a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. Now I don't smoke. I abhor smoking. And to prove myself, even in my Dream I threw the cigs away. One by one, I emptied the packet into a metal bin. I took the lighter and lit a paper, or something, and threw it into the bin. I watched the small ball of flame melting the contents till I realized my phone was also in there. Quickly I stomped the fire out and searched the contents, which weren't hot at all, and fished out a half melted phone. But it still worked. I was receiving a call there and then.

I haven't changed personas, just the environment and muse of the Dreams changed. This time I was sitting on large cushions with a couple of friends, whom are not reality. They looked very Caucasian and the one I was sitting close to reminded me of that Harry Potter character, Draco Malfoy (played by Tom Felton) except much better looking and was my age. His friends were making fun of him, how he always blushes when he was with me. Looking very stern at them, he took a smaller cushion to shield the side view of his face from them, still facing me. His friends are laughing at his bashfulness and I couldn't help but giggle. But when he saw me smile, he smiled too.

Oh how I wish there was a real blonde dood that looked almost like Tom Felton and was just as sweet as this guy in my Dream... Sigh.. Too good to be true I suppose.

. 31.05.10 skipping class .

Dreamt I was back in my high-school (I must miss it so much) It was evening so the only explanation for me being there at that time was extra classes. Walk up the stairs, peep through the door and I see a couple of my friends but I noticed I had missed half the class already. Plus it was a teacher I didn't really like so I thought of skipping the class altogether. So I went to an empty class and just sat in the corner near to the door, doing nothing. Soon enough the door changed from wooden to full glass and I noticed a girl was on the other side. I recognized her from school in real life but I wasn't that close but we chatted anyway.

The problem was the glass was too thick and when she talked on the other side, I couldn't hear a thing. It was muffled and I didn't bother coming out from the class or opening the door. Then I started having a problem with the scarf I was wearing. It was coming off loose so I had to fix it, but since the door was glass, there was a chance of a boy seeing me change. I told the girl on the other side to keep watch and she understood, somehow. I hid myself in my scarf like a turtle hides its head in its shell and I was fumbling with whatever needed fixing.

UN-fortunately DJ was passing by with his blue school bag and he was late for class too. But like me, he's one who'd skip class too. He didn't notice me in the other class when he passed by since my face was hidden but I came out to greet him once I thought I looked alright.

Friends whom I remembered came early for class were Sano, Sabun and Dee :) And I think some other ppl came later after DJ so we weren't the only ones skipping.

. 17.05.10 cooked dog .

I was working in a pet shelter where there were a lot of animals, especially dogs. Children came to volunteer help rehabilitate dogs who were too scared of people and thats why they couldn't get adopted. None of them were fierce, just shy. There was one dog in particular I was very fond of. A black kid brought him back from his usual walk but he still looked timid as ever. I thank the child for coming but school was starting again and the children would stop volunteering starting the next day. I wondered if my dog would be comfortable enough to walk with someone else for a change. We took him out of his cage and he knew the black kid was not there to walk him. He looked at me confused. I took his leash happily and lead him out of the shelter, through the clinic and out the door.

I loved that dog so much. I wanted to adopt him myself and bring him back home. I don't know what happened in between but I came home to find my maid talking on the phone, like nobody's business. I searched for my dog and asked her where he was. She was obviously trying to ignore me and that pissed me off. I looked around the house and still no sign of him. I slammed my hands on the table asking where the hell was my dog. She blurts out she cooked him. Yes, instead of boiling the meat she fried my dog instead. Flashes of dog being put in and oven flickered in my mind in seconds and all hell broke loose. I shouted at her along the lines of, “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?? YOU COOKED A DOG?? OH WE CAN'T BOIL HIM, SO LETS FRY HIM INSTEAD!! IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU LITTLE SHIT?? WHAT THE FUCK??! WHAT-THE-FUCK??!!!” I threw the bowl of rice at her during the rage.

I ran out to the garden, angry tears streaming from my eyes. My garden was overwhelmed by weeds and large bushes and extraordinarily I saw my dog jumping out from the bush. It was prancing about and looked fine. I stopped dead but was so happy that he was fine. I turned round and my maid was acting her usual self, as if I hadn't raged on her seconds ago. I ask her, “So you didn't really cook a dog, did you?” I thought she was joking. She answered back, “Nope. Not yours. I know how you love him and how good he is. I cooked the neighbor's dog. He was really annoying and small enough.”

I swear to God if I ever did find a person like that I'd run away. Run like there was no tomorrow. And if she WAS a maid working for me, I'd call the police when she wasn't looking. If she didn't mind cooking the dog, what would she do to me?? o___O In reality, I do feel sad that there are actually ppl in parts of the world that cook and eat domestic animals as delicacies..

. 13.05.10 our haven .

The landscape looked a little like my campus but so much grander. There were more pillars and marbled floor tiles and everything was so clean. It was dark, like it was reaching evening but then the air tasted crisp like early morning. There was no sun or moon or even stars but the sky still looked beautiful even in my Dreams. I was on a landing at the end of some stairs so I continued descending. When I got to the bottom, I see some familiar faces.

There was Sabun, Azri K, DJ, Beck, Sano and Zim. Sano and Zim were sitting close to each other on the stairs, covered in large towels, shivering but looking happy. I cried out, “Lemme guess, you went into the water at night.” They look at each other with large smiles on their faces, Zim says to Sano, “Oooh! She knows, she knows!” and they laugh. I laugh with them, “Yeah I know like shit; you're shivering and dripping wet!!”

I move over to the grounds of the area and see the girls. I only remember seeing Moon, Hajr, Yem, Farah and I think Elm and Bella were there too. Not sure bout Dee. The girls were having fun talking near the garden shrubs. As I step into the grounds, I realise that the whole area was covered in water. It was shallow, like knee-length. It wasn't freezing cold, but it just felt cool water wrapping round your legs. I remember I was wearing something similar to my black and orange jubah and I felt the thin layers of fabric floating gently in the water. It felt so real.

I padded through the water to get to my friends, who were now sending someone off from an arc. They looked like scholars from the middle east; Arab features, big beards, turbans, large round bellies, the exotic clothing. There were three of them and one recognized me. He seemed to be the oldest one as the other two respected him a whole lot. I had no idea who all of them were. The old man started saying how I should give up singing and work on my talent in making comics (then I faintly remember another old Dream where I was singing in a play with a bunch of children I didn't know). I was sort of embarrassed that my singing was no good, but when he praised my drawing skills, I was deeply grateful.

He joked to his two subordinates, “I should not tease her so much – or not I will be drawn and made fun of in her comics!” and they all laugh.

I don't know whether the Arab scholar parts are anywhere related to the religious issues going on right now in the world like the protests against 'Draw Mohammad Day' or the recent terrorist stories. I am also not saying that the person I saw was Mohammad, peace be upon him. But I do know after I had this Dream about my guy-friends, few days later back in the real world, I met up with them at a friend's birthday party and almost all the guys I saw were present. The girls didn't make it though but it still felt odd.

.: late halloween :.

Gaaaaaah! I know I'm super duper late cus I've been sooooo busy and got side-tracked to post anything for Halloween!! TT ^ TT I'm so sorryyyyy!

And though we don't celebrate the holiday where I'm from, I really like the idea of going to fancy dress parties as ghouls and monsters with the fake blood and whatnot~ And free candy! Who doesn't like that?? :D So anyhoos, hope yall had a good Hallow's eve and not gone into a sugar coma! Here's a picture I did for my deviantart account~


These two are from my Ellis in Onederland fiction; my adaptation of Lewis Carroll's original Alice in Wonderland. On the left is Christopher the Cheshire cat and on the right is the protagonist Ellis Mary Wither. They're dressed up as Jack Skellington and Sally from my all-time favorite stop-animation musical, Nightmare Before Christmas, by Tim Burton.

To see my other artworks like this Halloween picture, its on my main deviantart account, Catt-gal-2006, while all my original stories and comics are over at KuroNeko0893 :)

. 01.05.10 Alice .

She's awake. She's very awake, in a world she doesn't recognize and remember even traveling to. At least its beautiful. Heavily decorated with lush greenery and flora, she is in a garden and she is not alone.

The path is narrow with nothing but walls of vines on both sides and no choice but go forward. She is huddled unwillingly with the other group of maidens, whose dresses are particularly more fancy than her plain navy blue skirt. However with their frocks, there was no space for them to turn back in that narrow space if they wanted to. So forward it is. There were flowers of many kinds and colors though she didn't know any of their names. While idly browsing with the others, she then heard a voice out of nowhere announce the reason of them being here: “Its a game, you see. And if you win, you may proceed out of here into the other game.” She didn't know whether the other girls were just uninterested or just plain miserable upon hearing it.

She didn't remember hearing the rules but she noticed herself these flowers hanging from the vine-covered ceiling above them. They looked like yellow bells, but they were flowers indeed. By herself, she jumped as high as she could to touch them. She didn't care if others looked. She jumped and jumped again till finally her hand grazed past the flower and it rang like an ordinary bell. It was a small, sharp tingle but it had everyone's attention. Slowly they learned that if a girl could touch five bells, she would win and get out of the narrow garden. Only she succeeded.

She doesn't remember going through a door or even exiting the narrow garden path but the next thing she knew, she was in a rather dull, old yellow room with more maidens. Different from the ones before but all still wearing pretty frocks and miserable faces of make up. The room was quite small, not very comfortable when in a room filled with too many people and ornaments. Speaking of which, must have been props for another game.

The room itself was not a perfect square and it had no windows or doors. Just the girls against one wall and the mechanisms on the ceiling. There were still flowers, even though they were out of the garden. These flowers looked like tall cups and hung from the ceiling like a chandelier, only they were in a straight line, one beside the other. There was a dispenser for the same type of flower and each girl had to take one for herself. Again, it was a game.

She thought of jumping again, to see if her hunch was correct. She jumped, with the flower cup in her hand high above her head, to reach the ones that hung down. She was trying to catch the chandelier ones in the one she had. Eventually she got the first one as it fitted into the identical cup and popped off. But there were four others to go and the other was higher than the next. She didn't give up. She jumped with all her might, her cups growing higher to the next. Her last one was a bit tricky but after jumping to a wall and pouncing off it, she managed to get her ticket out of the game.

She doesn't know where she is now. It looks like a building, but it isn't perhaps. The only thing she was sure off was that this whole thing had been very disorientating. There were no flowers where she looked anymore but there was a table in front of her. No cookies or liquid that asked you to consume them but there was a little bug on the wooden surface. A red spider, no less. She bent over smiling at the adorable creature, as she was fond of spiders rather than butterflies. The spider looked at her with its many black, beady eyes (she counted there were more than the usual eight). She spoke to the spider kindly, asking if it knew answers to her questions though it could not reply. In the end she gave up asking but showed it her hand, wondering if it would like to accompany her.

The tips of her fingers right in front of its face and she could feel its eyes scanning the pink nubs and the look on her face at the same time. Slowly, it did almost the same thing. It raised the four legs on its left, allowing her to place her hand under them so that it would walk into her palm. She smiled at her new friend and decided to call him Bitsy (from the Itsy Bitsy Spider). She held it in her hands for a while before reaching a tea party. Bitsy decided to get off and crawl onto a wall, entertaining itself while she walked over inspecting the guests.

She remembered no introductions nor names, but she found herself sitting with the faceless guests and ordering their finest cakes. There must have been three or four of them, excluding her, eating together. The one on her right had a voice of a gentleman, even though he had no mouth. He asked what cake she would like, so she asked for the cheese cake. “Very well,” she heard him reply happily. Bitsy was there with her too, next to her plate. She smiled and stroked its back part which was not covered by eyes. She recalled hearing unfamiliar talk and irreplaceable voices; unaccountable smells and aroma; the only other thing she could not recall from all of this was her name.

I drew her! Together with this little prose, I call her Black Alice<3