A guy friend of mine in the Dream introduced me to this new guy friend of his; apparently homosexual. He had sort of short, straight, neat, blonde hair with dark roots. Milky skin with hazel eyes and a smile to die for. Just my type, just the right height, but SIGH. He was gay. What was even weirder was what happened when my guy friend said he'd be somewhere, leaving us two alone.
The friend, who's nickname was Pep, was sort of checking me out. Then he jokingly poked me in the stomach and said, “You're gaining weight!” Usually girls would get totally offended by this (I would probably too) but in the Dream I just laughed it off and joked as well, “Yeah, I know! Nita said I have a bump!” [Nita, my friend from college]
He laughs, “You sure its not a baby bump?” he said patting my tummy, his smile revealing his pearly whites. I just laughed and punched him friendly on the arm to stop him teasing me. Funny to be doing so since this was the first time we've met. Then he turns me round, “And you've got a nice butt as well!” he exclaimed, like it was such a good thing. “I've got a big butt??” My butt, I was a bit embarrassed about but he told me not to be. “You've got all the right curves!” was what he said.
Then he looks at me and says, “Don't worry! We'll see if you're really as heavy as you think!” and he picks me up all of a sudden. It was too fast and too much a surprise that I squirmed in his arms. But then he started spinning me around, forcing me to hang onto his neck so I wouldn't fall off, or jump off. Seeing me like that, it made him laugh. Once we stopped spinning, Our faces were so close, I could smell his breath and feel the warmth from his neck. Slowly, in the heat of it all... he kissed my neck.
Was he really gay I wonder...
I hope he wasn't. I also hope he's actually real... <3
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
. 20.12.09 undersea photography .
Usually when I dream about the ocean, its always something scary or disturbing because of the unknown creatures lurking around my feet. Or the dark storms and waves that bring havoc. Or the thought of drowning and panicking in the deep blue. This time it didn't work that way however.
This time I'm underwater but the water was a clear, light blue all around. You could see the sruface if you looked upwards. I'm underwater and sitting at the bottom of the reef, on the soft, white sand. A long distance in front of me is a mountain of coral from the reef. I remember the coral looking so beautiful. So there I was, not scared at all being in the ocean. Fish swam by, minding their own business.
When a school of fish came along and looked at me out of curiosity, if they looked photogenic, I would take out my hand phone from my pocket and take a picture of them. After that they'd look blur and dart away, but another school of different fish would take their place. I'd find them attractive too and take their picture. God knows how I got a working phone underwater but I loved it. There was also an Owl City song playing in the background of this undersea escapade. I think it was 'the Bird and the Worm' because I remember a part of the song where he'd be talking about the marine life.
After taking a few pictures and listening to the music softly going on, another fish appears and I feel hesitant around it. It was black and lumpy all over that I couldn't really see its features. All I could see was it was long. It was bobbing towards me and back that made me feel uneasy in the Dream. But I remembered if I felt scared in the Dream, that fear would create more fearful things to come so I tried to keep my cool. I swung my arm out slowly at the fish and suddenly it dispersed into little black balls. They were sea urchins in disguise and quickly they returned to the shape of a fish.
The urchins didn't seem bothered I messed up their form the first time so they left me but what came after them was a small shark. A hammer-head if I'm not mistaken but it looked small enough to be a new born baby shark. It was adorable but I was worried its mother would come sooner or later. So I woke. Owl City was playing 'On the Wing' as my alarm.
Second time I was underwater in my Dream that I didn't feel scared.
This time I'm underwater but the water was a clear, light blue all around. You could see the sruface if you looked upwards. I'm underwater and sitting at the bottom of the reef, on the soft, white sand. A long distance in front of me is a mountain of coral from the reef. I remember the coral looking so beautiful. So there I was, not scared at all being in the ocean. Fish swam by, minding their own business.
When a school of fish came along and looked at me out of curiosity, if they looked photogenic, I would take out my hand phone from my pocket and take a picture of them. After that they'd look blur and dart away, but another school of different fish would take their place. I'd find them attractive too and take their picture. God knows how I got a working phone underwater but I loved it. There was also an Owl City song playing in the background of this undersea escapade. I think it was 'the Bird and the Worm' because I remember a part of the song where he'd be talking about the marine life.
After taking a few pictures and listening to the music softly going on, another fish appears and I feel hesitant around it. It was black and lumpy all over that I couldn't really see its features. All I could see was it was long. It was bobbing towards me and back that made me feel uneasy in the Dream. But I remembered if I felt scared in the Dream, that fear would create more fearful things to come so I tried to keep my cool. I swung my arm out slowly at the fish and suddenly it dispersed into little black balls. They were sea urchins in disguise and quickly they returned to the shape of a fish.
The urchins didn't seem bothered I messed up their form the first time so they left me but what came after them was a small shark. A hammer-head if I'm not mistaken but it looked small enough to be a new born baby shark. It was adorable but I was worried its mother would come sooner or later. So I woke. Owl City was playing 'On the Wing' as my alarm.
Second time I was underwater in my Dream that I didn't feel scared.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
. reunions and angels .
There's an outdoor party going on and it must be one hell of an occasion cus the place was HUGE and PACKED with hundreds of people. For some reason, I think it's school related, like a school reunion. And later I see one of my friends, Za8 with his family at one big table. In fact, everyone was with their families, they had a table each. I look around for some more familiar faces.
I find all my girlfriends in a circle, holding hands, cajoling and laughing and I wanted to join. Suddenly I see Ihsanah, which is a bit odd because she's a friend I made in University and not in Adni. I didn't scorn her when I met, but I wondered what she was doing in my circle. When I said I wanted to join in, Ihsanah, being polite, said, “Oh sorry. I can leave if you want?”
But I didn't want her to leave. I felt sorry for stopping their fun so I said enjoy and went off to look for others. Little did I know I stepped off into another Dream..
Again I watch the Dream play out before me. This girl seems to be having a problem with her boy as they haven't seen each other in a while. And finally when she goes to look for him, to maybe reconcile or whatever, she cannot find him anywhere. Now she's worried.
In his apartment, a message comes on the answering machine and its a lady speaking. Her words were almost like, “Honey, don't forget to bring the blue button back. And don't scratch your head like before, alright? Hope to see you soon.” and now the girl's distraught.
She ends up on a ledge in a forgotten garden path. The ledge is like facing the inlet of the garden which is beautifully covered with Roses and vines and creeper plants. But this girl was in the worst of moods. Friends consoled her via emails to her phone and as she reads them one by one, tears keep piling on.
Somehow I end up being a guardian angel, sitting beside her, trying to cheer her up. She confides in me, “This was where he took me on our first date. It was his secret place. He shared everything with me... But.. now.. this is all I have left.. This place... If I knew it was here, then he must've have been real, right?? Right...?”
“Yes dear,” I said, as soothing as I could, hearing her weep in my arms. “Yes.. He did exist... He was here. He was real...”
“...Once.”
Bits and pieces put together and this was all I could gather. I want a reunion with all my pals so badly. Somehow, that lady on the answering machine, I kind of guessed it was just the guy's mother or something. She didn't at all sound like a lover. Maybe the girl didn't notice that.
I find all my girlfriends in a circle, holding hands, cajoling and laughing and I wanted to join. Suddenly I see Ihsanah, which is a bit odd because she's a friend I made in University and not in Adni. I didn't scorn her when I met, but I wondered what she was doing in my circle. When I said I wanted to join in, Ihsanah, being polite, said, “Oh sorry. I can leave if you want?”
But I didn't want her to leave. I felt sorry for stopping their fun so I said enjoy and went off to look for others. Little did I know I stepped off into another Dream..
Again I watch the Dream play out before me. This girl seems to be having a problem with her boy as they haven't seen each other in a while. And finally when she goes to look for him, to maybe reconcile or whatever, she cannot find him anywhere. Now she's worried.
In his apartment, a message comes on the answering machine and its a lady speaking. Her words were almost like, “Honey, don't forget to bring the blue button back. And don't scratch your head like before, alright? Hope to see you soon.” and now the girl's distraught.
She ends up on a ledge in a forgotten garden path. The ledge is like facing the inlet of the garden which is beautifully covered with Roses and vines and creeper plants. But this girl was in the worst of moods. Friends consoled her via emails to her phone and as she reads them one by one, tears keep piling on.
Somehow I end up being a guardian angel, sitting beside her, trying to cheer her up. She confides in me, “This was where he took me on our first date. It was his secret place. He shared everything with me... But.. now.. this is all I have left.. This place... If I knew it was here, then he must've have been real, right?? Right...?”
“Yes dear,” I said, as soothing as I could, hearing her weep in my arms. “Yes.. He did exist... He was here. He was real...”
“...Once.”
Bits and pieces put together and this was all I could gather. I want a reunion with all my pals so badly. Somehow, that lady on the answering machine, I kind of guessed it was just the guy's mother or something. She didn't at all sound like a lover. Maybe the girl didn't notice that.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
. my love - .
My love – he made the greyest rain.
I'm at his home at quarrels echo within the walls and he is most troubled. I get on my pink flip flops and say, “Lets go outside,” even when I knew outside would be pouring but he comes. At the porch, he stares upwards, not really hoping, not really lost. It always rains when he's sad. I hug him from behind and his back is so warm and I tell him I still love him. He turns around without letting me go of him,
his jet black hair covering his sullen eyes. The ends of his mouth muster strength to pull into a grin, but I can see they're failing.
He says something to me, not much of a sentence nor a single word but a poem. It resonated through me. I regret not remembering it now.. but I remember the feeling his words gave me, as if they washed over my entire being.
His eyes try hard to smile even though inside his heart is bleeding and I know so well I can be his plaster; his aid; his poem. So why doesn't he use me?
When he looks at me, he looks at me with all the love in the world even when he's hurt so deeply. He'll probably say something like, “You're too beautiful to use, too pure.” and I'll say, “Nothing's pure anymore and I'm far from such definition.” We know what we'll say and our arguments will lead us nowhere so we keep silent. It is virtue.
My love – he makes the greyest rain with his tears. And all I can do, which he allows me to, is dance in them gracefully; quietly; never knowing, never asking. Just dance.
Fragments of a Dream put together using experimental form of poetry/narration. This went on but as the Dream played it was silent, except for soft clashing of rain on the ground and I remember it was so cold in the Dream world. Like I was really near the drizzle outside. I just wanted to give the boy and girl dialogue cus they both looked so sad and needed a story. Basically the boy's having problems. Really deep shit but doesn't want to confide in anyone, not even his girl. Though he doesn't know how much it pains her when he doesn't release his feelings onto her, cus she wants that so badly. How troublesome.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
. my boyfriend the ninja .
As I look at the life-sized mirror in my hotel suite, I can tell I'm an average looking girl with a Chinese sort of heritage. My skin very fair and hair raven-black, bangs till my shoulders. I had on a plain, white, long sleeved inner shirt under a beige-pink frock. White leggings and pumps if I'm not mistaken. I had a small golden locket around my neck in the shape of a heart; I held it dear.
I'm anxious in my room, as if I knew something bad was going to happen. Someone was supposed to come for me but isn't here and I'm terrified. I'm useless on my own. I'm always needing someone, depending on them for protection and guidance. I'm lost when I'm by myself.
No! You gotta stay strong! He said he'd come look for you, didn't he? He always keeps his promises. It's one of his stupid principles he never shuts up about. But one thing about him, whatever he says he'll do, he does it. That's one thing I love about him, amongst other things.
Suddenly I hear commotion. He barges in from the secret door, the one supposedly adjoined with my bodyguards' rooms in case they hear trouble. “Sorry I'm late,” he says but he doesn't stop to say hi. Instead he rushes to my window and keeps me a safe distance from it. He peers down and my eyes follow. There were men in suits running everywhere on the grounds and a female superior in the middle of the chaos. She just stood still but her eyes raced, scanning everything and everywhere. “They don't know where your room is. But it'll be a matter of time,” he says to me. He watches the woman, who had slivers of white bangs on her fringe while the rest of her hair was black and tied up, in addition she had white hair-buns on the sides of her head. She also wore the Chinese Cheongsam and black slippers. She was the first martial artist I've ever seen wearing a cute panda backpack.
“Ok, when I go, I want you to leave this room and don't look back. Go to my room using the secret turnabouts I showed you. Stay quiet and hidden. I'll come for you.” and before I could ask anything, he blew me a kiss before jumping from the third floor window on top of a few men in suits. He and the panda girl immediately battled but I had no time to watch the fight. I dash out and cunningly went round corners, dodging the first signs of black suits. In the Dream, I didn't even know if I was going the right way. My heart raced, trying to find the secret room. Finally I reach the room and stay there. Time passes and I'm alone again. I'm lost.
What seems like forever for my persona was 5 seconds in my Dream because that was how long it took for him to come back. He returned, not even looking beaten or worn out but looking rather refreshed from all the fighting. He comes in, takes off his leather jacket and smiles, “Wait long? Sorry bou-”
But I don't give him a chance to apologize. I flew to his wide, open chest and hug the doofus, “Stupid! Where were you?! Don't ever leave me alone again!” I sounded harsh but in fact I was worried sick something had happened to him and I hid my face in his chest in time so he wouldn't see my tear-filled eyes. “Yes, yes, I know. I'm sorry.” I could tell he was smiling by the way his words sounded from his mouth. That stupid, happy-go-lucky smile. How does he stand being so confident while he makes me worried all the time? But once I'm in his arms, I feel safe and warm again and forgive him for his stupidity. He says sorry again and knows I'm tired so he carries me to bed and kisses me goodnight. It's so hard having a ninja for a boyfriend sometimes...
Yup, I tried narrating my Dream this way and I like the sound of it. The two characters in this Dream did look very Chinese, or Japanese, or even Korean. I'm not so certain. Except for the panda-girl. I kind concluded she must have been a martial artist from China or something... PS: I made a picture! I also gave the two main characters names, Jin and May C:
This pic would explain May's reaction to Jin on his first day as her personal bodyguard. Quite random actually and I didn't want to draw her in the same clothes as the Dream for the heck of it. May had a fall and Jin offered to carry her to the car. Being undeniably handsome, he makes her blush like mad xDDD
I'm anxious in my room, as if I knew something bad was going to happen. Someone was supposed to come for me but isn't here and I'm terrified. I'm useless on my own. I'm always needing someone, depending on them for protection and guidance. I'm lost when I'm by myself.
No! You gotta stay strong! He said he'd come look for you, didn't he? He always keeps his promises. It's one of his stupid principles he never shuts up about. But one thing about him, whatever he says he'll do, he does it. That's one thing I love about him, amongst other things.
Suddenly I hear commotion. He barges in from the secret door, the one supposedly adjoined with my bodyguards' rooms in case they hear trouble. “Sorry I'm late,” he says but he doesn't stop to say hi. Instead he rushes to my window and keeps me a safe distance from it. He peers down and my eyes follow. There were men in suits running everywhere on the grounds and a female superior in the middle of the chaos. She just stood still but her eyes raced, scanning everything and everywhere. “They don't know where your room is. But it'll be a matter of time,” he says to me. He watches the woman, who had slivers of white bangs on her fringe while the rest of her hair was black and tied up, in addition she had white hair-buns on the sides of her head. She also wore the Chinese Cheongsam and black slippers. She was the first martial artist I've ever seen wearing a cute panda backpack.
“Ok, when I go, I want you to leave this room and don't look back. Go to my room using the secret turnabouts I showed you. Stay quiet and hidden. I'll come for you.” and before I could ask anything, he blew me a kiss before jumping from the third floor window on top of a few men in suits. He and the panda girl immediately battled but I had no time to watch the fight. I dash out and cunningly went round corners, dodging the first signs of black suits. In the Dream, I didn't even know if I was going the right way. My heart raced, trying to find the secret room. Finally I reach the room and stay there. Time passes and I'm alone again. I'm lost.
What seems like forever for my persona was 5 seconds in my Dream because that was how long it took for him to come back. He returned, not even looking beaten or worn out but looking rather refreshed from all the fighting. He comes in, takes off his leather jacket and smiles, “Wait long? Sorry bou-”
But I don't give him a chance to apologize. I flew to his wide, open chest and hug the doofus, “Stupid! Where were you?! Don't ever leave me alone again!” I sounded harsh but in fact I was worried sick something had happened to him and I hid my face in his chest in time so he wouldn't see my tear-filled eyes. “Yes, yes, I know. I'm sorry.” I could tell he was smiling by the way his words sounded from his mouth. That stupid, happy-go-lucky smile. How does he stand being so confident while he makes me worried all the time? But once I'm in his arms, I feel safe and warm again and forgive him for his stupidity. He says sorry again and knows I'm tired so he carries me to bed and kisses me goodnight. It's so hard having a ninja for a boyfriend sometimes...
Yup, I tried narrating my Dream this way and I like the sound of it. The two characters in this Dream did look very Chinese, or Japanese, or even Korean. I'm not so certain. Except for the panda-girl. I kind concluded she must have been a martial artist from China or something... PS: I made a picture! I also gave the two main characters names, Jin and May C:
This pic would explain May's reaction to Jin on his first day as her personal bodyguard. Quite random actually and I didn't want to draw her in the same clothes as the Dream for the heck of it. May had a fall and Jin offered to carry her to the car. Being undeniably handsome, he makes her blush like mad xDDD
. Riddick .
Huuhuu I'm such a fan of Riddick, Vin Diesel's bad-ass Furyan bounty hunter/vigilante. Loved all his movies and the Japanese animated movie, Dark Fury. This time, the way I Dreamt of him was like a never seen before movie playing right in front of me. It looked like another animation film. The whole time I hoped I got to see the end of the fight.
Noticed as the most dangerous man in the galaxy and primed fighter, he was captured and forced to fight for his life on a prison planet, known for slaughtering convicts of life sentences in the fighting rings or cages. He was outside the ring when they introduced his contender, the reigning champion.
He was an alien type creature with bulging muscles and biceps and abs. His skin looked as rough as carved rock and was a golden brown color. He had four arms, two sticking out of his sides but equally buffed. He had no neck as his head was like a huge pimple on his shoulders, with a wide jaw filled with small, menacing teeth. Riddick didn't seem surprised.
The champion alien demonstrated his strength by swinging his chains of heavy blocks, each weighing countless metric tonnes and he swung them with little effort. Then Riddick was allowed to fight after that. He looked so thin compared to the bulge he was fighting but what he lacked in size, he made up with speed and cunning. He dodged and cut his wrist-restraints free. But a cage was dropped ontop of the ring, not letting him escape the death ring.
Riddick got to cut the thick, tight rubber ropes used to fence the ring and zipped round the large fella. In the end he managed the tie him up and the alien came crashing down. Sure, not much of violent melee fighting, not that I can remember but still – its Riddick! Yeey!
He didn't talk at all in the Dream... but I sort of remember there was a woman with frizzy maroon hair somewhere in there but don't rly remember what she was doing...
Noticed as the most dangerous man in the galaxy and primed fighter, he was captured and forced to fight for his life on a prison planet, known for slaughtering convicts of life sentences in the fighting rings or cages. He was outside the ring when they introduced his contender, the reigning champion.
He was an alien type creature with bulging muscles and biceps and abs. His skin looked as rough as carved rock and was a golden brown color. He had four arms, two sticking out of his sides but equally buffed. He had no neck as his head was like a huge pimple on his shoulders, with a wide jaw filled with small, menacing teeth. Riddick didn't seem surprised.
The champion alien demonstrated his strength by swinging his chains of heavy blocks, each weighing countless metric tonnes and he swung them with little effort. Then Riddick was allowed to fight after that. He looked so thin compared to the bulge he was fighting but what he lacked in size, he made up with speed and cunning. He dodged and cut his wrist-restraints free. But a cage was dropped ontop of the ring, not letting him escape the death ring.
Riddick got to cut the thick, tight rubber ropes used to fence the ring and zipped round the large fella. In the end he managed the tie him up and the alien came crashing down. Sure, not much of violent melee fighting, not that I can remember but still – its Riddick! Yeey!
He didn't talk at all in the Dream... but I sort of remember there was a woman with frizzy maroon hair somewhere in there but don't rly remember what she was doing...
Thursday, September 2, 2010
. spaceship house .
It's not the first time I've Dreamt of being in luxurious hotels and boardings, and often its just be traveling up and down levels by elevator. This one looked like a very futuristic type living place, though I'm not really sure if it was a house or ship I was on. I remember the walls and everything were silver and glass. The sliding doors were glass and needed my hand prints so they would open. Strangely my two friends, Tasha and Tiara are here.
Tiara is one one side of the glass and me and Tasha just went through the doors to go exploring. She's a bit scared so she stays close to me. Tiara is left behind cus she's talking to some figures, I cannot recognize anymore now. We go down the elevator. The doors open and we're at what seems to be an arcade level.
For some reason Tasha's more frightened than ever and I go, “There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just an arcade, right?” and I walk round looking for something to play with. Tasha's so scared she clings on to my back and I'm like giving her a piggy back ride, and she doesn't weigh a thing. I find something that I hoped Tasha wouldn't be afraid of. One of those kiddy car rides where they car just goes up and down and moves in a tiring cycle.
Got her inside and the car started to move and though she didn't scream or anything, she still looked scared. Or more, worried about something. So I stopped the car and placed my hands under her armpits and lifted her out. She shrunk a lil the last time but still didn't weigh a thing. Next thing I knew, the Dreams changed.
The place of silver looked more metallic, and there were pipes and bolts and metal doors, no longer made of glass. Tasha disappeared. I was walking through the metal corridors alone. It looked more like a spaceship now. For some reason, I was walking very briskly and discreetly and I had a reason.
I was a shape shifting Bogey monster who intercepted the Kids Next Door moon base (thus the spaceship theory) and I was on the move. I took form of a kid and another Kids Next Door thought I was in danger and stood with me as back up. Then when he least expected it, I grabbed hold of him an hacked green sticky slime onto his whole body. My Bogey spit that could control people's minds.
The five original Kids Next Door from the Cartoon Network show were tracking me down with their 2X4 technology but I was like Batman. Crawling through vents and hanging on the ceilings and wires. As soon as they turned their backs or were alone, I'd snatch them from above and control their minds. Slowly I was controlling all the kids... except number one; Nigel Uno.
I don't know whether I ever caught Nigel Uno but a face off between him and the Bogey monster would've been very interesting :)
Tiara is one one side of the glass and me and Tasha just went through the doors to go exploring. She's a bit scared so she stays close to me. Tiara is left behind cus she's talking to some figures, I cannot recognize anymore now. We go down the elevator. The doors open and we're at what seems to be an arcade level.
For some reason Tasha's more frightened than ever and I go, “There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just an arcade, right?” and I walk round looking for something to play with. Tasha's so scared she clings on to my back and I'm like giving her a piggy back ride, and she doesn't weigh a thing. I find something that I hoped Tasha wouldn't be afraid of. One of those kiddy car rides where they car just goes up and down and moves in a tiring cycle.
Got her inside and the car started to move and though she didn't scream or anything, she still looked scared. Or more, worried about something. So I stopped the car and placed my hands under her armpits and lifted her out. She shrunk a lil the last time but still didn't weigh a thing. Next thing I knew, the Dreams changed.
The place of silver looked more metallic, and there were pipes and bolts and metal doors, no longer made of glass. Tasha disappeared. I was walking through the metal corridors alone. It looked more like a spaceship now. For some reason, I was walking very briskly and discreetly and I had a reason.
I was a shape shifting Bogey monster who intercepted the Kids Next Door moon base (thus the spaceship theory) and I was on the move. I took form of a kid and another Kids Next Door thought I was in danger and stood with me as back up. Then when he least expected it, I grabbed hold of him an hacked green sticky slime onto his whole body. My Bogey spit that could control people's minds.
The five original Kids Next Door from the Cartoon Network show were tracking me down with their 2X4 technology but I was like Batman. Crawling through vents and hanging on the ceilings and wires. As soon as they turned their backs or were alone, I'd snatch them from above and control their minds. Slowly I was controlling all the kids... except number one; Nigel Uno.
I don't know whether I ever caught Nigel Uno but a face off between him and the Bogey monster would've been very interesting :)
. written with lemon ink .
I was on a van. It must've been a HUGE effin van cus all the boys and all the girls from my class were there. With our stuff. Not sure what stuff but it looked to me like we had all our domestic things packed with us like we were going camping, but for a longer time. I asked myself, are we living together in dorms?
Sure enough I was right. We were going to some university and somehow or rather we were assigned to live together. Before we got to the uni, I remember that the vehicle looked like a HUGE van from the outside and inside it looked like the innards of a private jet. Just the whole thing was economy class. We had tables and each table had four seats, two seats facing the opposite.
I remember I sat next to Niq [Aah. Niq. I always did look up to you and admired you. Yeah, you were smart. Really smart.] and she was showing my different types of poisonous spiders on her laptop. All of a sudden, a small spider was crawling up my arm, leaving an acid trail and it burned my skin deeply. Quickly Nig took the spider with her very own fingers, not even gloved, and placed it on her arm. The spider crawled along, but I don't remember whether she was being burned or not by acid.
I asked, “Doesn't it hurt??” She just shrugged. [I wonder if she weighs other people's problems on her shoulders. I should ask her next time, afraid that such things might hurt her in the long run, like the spider hiding somewhere in her clothes. Waiting to strike and bring her down.]
I remember Dee [Aah. Dee. My big sister. I don't really know when I started seeing you as my big sis but I believe everyone is my big sis and bro. After all I am the youngest, but you always took good care of me. And everyone else. You try so hard, and we give back so little.] sitting behind me and once she saw the burns on my arm, she handed my that alcoholic tissues, the ones you sometimes find at hotels or something? The ones that have fragrant scents? So I used it on my arm and it felt so soothing. After the wiping, all that were left were deep scars.
I remember how Dee stared at my scars and looked so sad for me. [You don't need to worry about me, Dee. Just worry about you. I always do. Don't kill yourself, remember?]
Still on the way to our uni, I forgot about my burns and with my injured hand I tried to get my MP3 but I dropped it and it slid on the rubber-matted floor. DJ [Ah. DJ. Your jokes were always the most random and pleasing. And you were so intelligent, I envied you so much. You said it was hard for you to smile especially in pictures. I noticed, you always did look so sad. Eyes looking downward and nowhere.] picked it up and gave it back, and asked how the burns were. I thanked him.
In the Dream he looked neutral. Not sad. Not smiling. After I thanked him, he went about his business, with both hands in his pockets. [Eyes downward and looking nowhere. Is it okay to smile even when you don't mean it?]
We got to the uni and we had to go straight to the office. Yem [Ah. Yem. You always had a lovely smile, and your skin so fair. I never told you how you were like Snow White. You knew a lot about my flaws, didn't you? But you kept quiet and in a way helped me, so much more than I ever knew. But now I know.] was there first, chatting with the alumni of the uni, asking questions and inquiring about the uni. She was like our class rep for today. [Thank you.]
We were in our dorm, which was one HUGE pad. The girls had the East wing, boys had the West but we all chilled in the main living room area. It was the bomb. Everyone having fun like the good old days. I went over to Elmo and Bell [Ah. Elmo and Bell. You two. You were somehow the life of the party. I admired the individual talents and qualities you guys had and together, you made an incredible milkshake blend. Bell, the exciting Raspberry syrup mixed with Elmo, the chilling Vanilla cream.] who were looking through old pictures, especially the boys'. [Always remember how beautiful you are.]
For some reason, there was a picture of Sano wearing a tuxedo (which he never did, not to my knowledge) and it even looked like it was at some party. There was another picture with Taha, Zim, Mano and Za8 together in a group but they looked so much younger. Like when we were in Secondary 3 or 2. They all had baby faces and we all laughed at that.
[Ah. Sano. You always missed the qualities you had on your back while you plainly saw the ones on others' backs. Remember how you told me how you felt like.. you were in a deep dark pit and you struggled climbing out of there? I couldn't answer you cus I never felt that way. I wish I could see through other peoples' eyes, unlocking the secret windows to their souls.]
[Ah. Taha. I don't remember much now, since my memory is quite weak and vague. But you did make me laugh from time to time with your sarcasm, especially when you made jokes with such a straight non-changing face. You were funny. And you were very clever. Hope you knew that. I always found you that way.]
[Ah. Zim. You have changed, and changed so much and so well. We are all very much proud of you so don't run off that track. You'll get knocked off once or twice, you know plenty well by what and why, but try your hardest to get back on. Hope I was a friend enough to support you.]
[Ah. Mano. You were like everyone's big bro. The sometimes silly big bro, but thats the one we like most I suppose. Though it burdened you, you still listened to ppl as they came to you with their problems. You could have dismissed them as coldly but you never did. You still listened. You're that kind of big bro.]
[Ah. Za8. We were never that close were we? I do regret that. I mean, you guys were all really nice, but I didn't have the guts to reach out and know you better, and deeper. While we're still alive, there are many more things to learn about you, and you have many more songs to sing.]
This letter is dedicated to my closest most beloved friends. To read the white letters, highlight the whole journal.
PS: I love you all.
Sure enough I was right. We were going to some university and somehow or rather we were assigned to live together. Before we got to the uni, I remember that the vehicle looked like a HUGE van from the outside and inside it looked like the innards of a private jet. Just the whole thing was economy class. We had tables and each table had four seats, two seats facing the opposite.
I remember I sat next to Niq [Aah. Niq. I always did look up to you and admired you. Yeah, you were smart. Really smart.] and she was showing my different types of poisonous spiders on her laptop. All of a sudden, a small spider was crawling up my arm, leaving an acid trail and it burned my skin deeply. Quickly Nig took the spider with her very own fingers, not even gloved, and placed it on her arm. The spider crawled along, but I don't remember whether she was being burned or not by acid.
I asked, “Doesn't it hurt??” She just shrugged. [I wonder if she weighs other people's problems on her shoulders. I should ask her next time, afraid that such things might hurt her in the long run, like the spider hiding somewhere in her clothes. Waiting to strike and bring her down.]
I remember Dee [Aah. Dee. My big sister. I don't really know when I started seeing you as my big sis but I believe everyone is my big sis and bro. After all I am the youngest, but you always took good care of me. And everyone else. You try so hard, and we give back so little.] sitting behind me and once she saw the burns on my arm, she handed my that alcoholic tissues, the ones you sometimes find at hotels or something? The ones that have fragrant scents? So I used it on my arm and it felt so soothing. After the wiping, all that were left were deep scars.
I remember how Dee stared at my scars and looked so sad for me. [You don't need to worry about me, Dee. Just worry about you. I always do. Don't kill yourself, remember?]
Still on the way to our uni, I forgot about my burns and with my injured hand I tried to get my MP3 but I dropped it and it slid on the rubber-matted floor. DJ [Ah. DJ. Your jokes were always the most random and pleasing. And you were so intelligent, I envied you so much. You said it was hard for you to smile especially in pictures. I noticed, you always did look so sad. Eyes looking downward and nowhere.] picked it up and gave it back, and asked how the burns were. I thanked him.
In the Dream he looked neutral. Not sad. Not smiling. After I thanked him, he went about his business, with both hands in his pockets. [Eyes downward and looking nowhere. Is it okay to smile even when you don't mean it?]
We got to the uni and we had to go straight to the office. Yem [Ah. Yem. You always had a lovely smile, and your skin so fair. I never told you how you were like Snow White. You knew a lot about my flaws, didn't you? But you kept quiet and in a way helped me, so much more than I ever knew. But now I know.] was there first, chatting with the alumni of the uni, asking questions and inquiring about the uni. She was like our class rep for today. [Thank you.]
We were in our dorm, which was one HUGE pad. The girls had the East wing, boys had the West but we all chilled in the main living room area. It was the bomb. Everyone having fun like the good old days. I went over to Elmo and Bell [Ah. Elmo and Bell. You two. You were somehow the life of the party. I admired the individual talents and qualities you guys had and together, you made an incredible milkshake blend. Bell, the exciting Raspberry syrup mixed with Elmo, the chilling Vanilla cream.] who were looking through old pictures, especially the boys'. [Always remember how beautiful you are.]
For some reason, there was a picture of Sano wearing a tuxedo (which he never did, not to my knowledge) and it even looked like it was at some party. There was another picture with Taha, Zim, Mano and Za8 together in a group but they looked so much younger. Like when we were in Secondary 3 or 2. They all had baby faces and we all laughed at that.
[Ah. Sano. You always missed the qualities you had on your back while you plainly saw the ones on others' backs. Remember how you told me how you felt like.. you were in a deep dark pit and you struggled climbing out of there? I couldn't answer you cus I never felt that way. I wish I could see through other peoples' eyes, unlocking the secret windows to their souls.]
[Ah. Taha. I don't remember much now, since my memory is quite weak and vague. But you did make me laugh from time to time with your sarcasm, especially when you made jokes with such a straight non-changing face. You were funny. And you were very clever. Hope you knew that. I always found you that way.]
[Ah. Zim. You have changed, and changed so much and so well. We are all very much proud of you so don't run off that track. You'll get knocked off once or twice, you know plenty well by what and why, but try your hardest to get back on. Hope I was a friend enough to support you.]
[Ah. Mano. You were like everyone's big bro. The sometimes silly big bro, but thats the one we like most I suppose. Though it burdened you, you still listened to ppl as they came to you with their problems. You could have dismissed them as coldly but you never did. You still listened. You're that kind of big bro.]
[Ah. Za8. We were never that close were we? I do regret that. I mean, you guys were all really nice, but I didn't have the guts to reach out and know you better, and deeper. While we're still alive, there are many more things to learn about you, and you have many more songs to sing.]
This letter is dedicated to my closest most beloved friends. To read the white letters, highlight the whole journal.
PS: I love you all.
. the fixers .
Again, dad is with me for one of my exciting, adventurous Dream. We make a good team, he and I. We were supernatural Fixers, like that John Constantine. Not the Keanu Reeves version. You should find his comic books. Much funnier. We looked like we were walking up the streets of modern London, which is funny cus I've never been overseas, let alone Europe.
Dad was my superior of course, and he was given an ominous invitation by Vampire ladies. They were the bad guys, no matter how sexy they looked. My dad told me that they had Gargoyles waiting for us if we fell into their trap. Somehow, even as supernatural investigators and Fixers, we weren't ALL human. Some part of us could not touch things of Iron and Gargoyles of Stone. Not that we die or anything, just that our strength goes weak.
Anyhoo, we weren't solving a big case or anything. Dad could just reject the invitation if he could but the matter-o-fact is you must NEVER reject a Vampire's invitation, even if it was to your death. It was a matter of dignity and politeness in their Realm. Dad could not refuse the trap... BUT he could have a substitute for his place. There was no rule against that.
So as we were driving out of our hotel, we almost crashed (or bumped into) this group of Emo, Gothic dressed looking punks and they all got in my dad's face. Even in reality my dad can't stand youngsters, or adults, with such vulgar manners. But he didn't get mad. Instead he apologized and honeyed his conversation for a while, at the same time, duping two of the Emo's into having our tickets to the Vampire's dinner. And they looked so excited.
Then my dad got into the car and we drove somewhere, left the car on the curb and started walking across the bridge to our next destination. Leaving no trace behind.
The Emo guys looked so happy i almost felt sorry for them XD
. 30.10.09 lions and pirate popcorn .
We start in what seems to be the Savanna, like scenes from the Lion King. Instead of grassy plains, we were near the great canyons or red rock. I'm a lion by the way. A cub no less. But my lion tribe seems to have a feud with Simba's tribe, like they did with Scar's family. This was a bit different though.
The two tribes just couldn't come to an agreement and stayed a great distance from each other. My persona in the Dream is a playful male cub who naively makes friends with Simba's son, the lion prince. However while playing in the canyons, the prince goes off and does something careless, or was playing by himself or something like that and gets hurt. I had to get him back to Simba but when I carried him back home, Simba and the pride were furious, thinking I was the one to blame.
Wish I could continue but I don't remember what happens after that since I woke up and slept again. This time, the Dream takes us to a murky jail set where water covered inches off your shins. It was dark and humid and there were figures in the dark. The first I saw was Davy Jones from the Pirates of the Caribbean.
Davy Jones was interrogating a weakling, holding up the man in the air with his beard tentacles (which aren't supposed to be that long) saying something like, “You have something of mine, good sir... I would like to have it back.” and squeezed the man so tight his body, innards and brain splattered across the walls. To escape the goop, I ducked into the water and as I raised my head again, there was no man but blood everywhere. My persona in this Dream was unclear but I guess I was some sort of pirate as well who lay neutral, in between sides, cus Davy Jones didn't seem to bother me.
Other than him was Elizabeth Swan (my least fave) and Jack Sparrow (my fave) and for some reason, in that pit of a jail cell there was a small corner full of sand. Its like there was a tiny island in that prison itself as we were surrounded by shallow water. We all sat in a circle and a camp easy-stove appeared in our center. Elizabeth was trying to light it and when it did, she placed an open frying pan on top and poured in pop corn kernels.
Sure enough, without a lid to cover the pan, the pop corn popped out of the pan and onto us, one at a time. I was determined to eat a lot of popcorn so I used the paper wrapper for the kernels as a bag and caught all the flying popcorn headed towards me. When popcorn flew in Jack's direction however, he dodged it, making it fall into the sand. But the popcorn didn't stay in the sand; instead it rolled away along the beach and Jack was trying to catch them. Elizabeth cried, “Are you sure that's how you eat them??”
Jack just replies, “Trust me darling – it works all the time!”
All I wanted was butter for my popcorn :)
The two tribes just couldn't come to an agreement and stayed a great distance from each other. My persona in the Dream is a playful male cub who naively makes friends with Simba's son, the lion prince. However while playing in the canyons, the prince goes off and does something careless, or was playing by himself or something like that and gets hurt. I had to get him back to Simba but when I carried him back home, Simba and the pride were furious, thinking I was the one to blame.
Wish I could continue but I don't remember what happens after that since I woke up and slept again. This time, the Dream takes us to a murky jail set where water covered inches off your shins. It was dark and humid and there were figures in the dark. The first I saw was Davy Jones from the Pirates of the Caribbean.
Davy Jones was interrogating a weakling, holding up the man in the air with his beard tentacles (which aren't supposed to be that long) saying something like, “You have something of mine, good sir... I would like to have it back.” and squeezed the man so tight his body, innards and brain splattered across the walls. To escape the goop, I ducked into the water and as I raised my head again, there was no man but blood everywhere. My persona in this Dream was unclear but I guess I was some sort of pirate as well who lay neutral, in between sides, cus Davy Jones didn't seem to bother me.
Other than him was Elizabeth Swan (my least fave) and Jack Sparrow (my fave) and for some reason, in that pit of a jail cell there was a small corner full of sand. Its like there was a tiny island in that prison itself as we were surrounded by shallow water. We all sat in a circle and a camp easy-stove appeared in our center. Elizabeth was trying to light it and when it did, she placed an open frying pan on top and poured in pop corn kernels.
Sure enough, without a lid to cover the pan, the pop corn popped out of the pan and onto us, one at a time. I was determined to eat a lot of popcorn so I used the paper wrapper for the kernels as a bag and caught all the flying popcorn headed towards me. When popcorn flew in Jack's direction however, he dodged it, making it fall into the sand. But the popcorn didn't stay in the sand; instead it rolled away along the beach and Jack was trying to catch them. Elizabeth cried, “Are you sure that's how you eat them??”
Jack just replies, “Trust me darling – it works all the time!”
All I wanted was butter for my popcorn :)
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